The Good Doctor
by Amanda9
Summary: We don't all see what is right in front of us. We don't want to.


**Title: _The Good Doctor  
_Author: **Amanda  
**Feedback:** sweety167yahoo.ca  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything X-Men related.   
**Spoilers/Continuity:** X2- Alternate Universe  
**Summary:** We don't all see what is right in front of us. We don't want to.   
**Completed: **January 7, 2007  
**Notes:** Danny's prompt was to put Jean with Logan, and have Jean feel bad… That was hard to pull off. Jean feeling bad for her actions? I tried.

XxX

This isn't right. I know it. They always said you can't have your cake and eat it too, and now I understand. This is what they mean.

I'm just…selfish. I can admit it. I wanted Logan. I mean, any straight-minded woman would. But I already have Scott…I have a wonderfully stable existence, a steady sex life, a loving man…why risk it all to go sneaking around with Logan?

Other than that hard body or animal nature, of course.

I know I could never settle down with a man like Logan. That's part of the appeal. The good doctor isn't all that good it seems. She likes the thrill of rough and dirty…part of my mind craves it.

I just don't know how no one has noticed…

XxX

I've been sleeping with Logan for a couple of weeks now, it happened like the breaking of a dam. Slow trickles at first before we were flooded with action. Not that that is any kind of justification. Just a realisation.

And that's about when Rogue's started coming to me for talks. She's seeking a strong female figure in her life, and for some reason it's me.

I can't explain how odd, yet satisfying, it is that she's now chosen to depend on me. It's just that as I bed her hero by night she seeks me for solace during the day. An odd twist really. It confirms my suspicion that her infatuation with Logan was purely hero worship. She can't seem to realise what's going on around her, she's blocked out anything negative about her hero. But it somehow makes me feel that little bit better about the whole thing.

Even as I'm having something she wants, she still needs me. I can't be begrudged this little pay off, can I?

Of course I can. I'm lying and cheating as I sit here with this teenaged girl and help her walk though the mess that lurks in her head. And her heart. In her life in general. She's such a poor child. She needs guidance, and I think I'm the one best suited to give it to her. But without me, she wouldn't have anyone.

She looks up at me with her big doe eyes, a curiosity lurking in them, "Why would someone who likes one person spend all their free time with someone else?"

Rogue's so small and innocent. So inexperienced. I think this is why her and Bobby are such a good match. They're both such innocents. It's actually very cute they way they hold hands around the mansion. But I wasn't aware that someone else was in the middle of their puppy love. Even with the barrier of her mutation, I didn't expect Bobby to be entertaining others already. Considering everything going on around here, I haven't been able to stay up to date with the teen dramas. And I can't just take a peak into her mind; Logan made me promise that I never would…

"Well," I chose my words carefully. I don't want to embarrass the girl anymore than this question must have already; "There are a lot of reasons someone could do that Rogue. Maybe they don't think they can have the person that they really like."

"Like a substitution?" there's the little girl, drawl to her voice as she bats her eyelashes at me.

"Right…Or maybe they don't really like that other person at all."

Her eyes narrow as she thinks about that option. It makes me wonder just who Bobby has been spending his time with.

"Do you know he likes you?" I offer, carefully.

A new, darker light dances in Rogue's eyes and she smiles. She taps the side of her head; "A girl knows these things."

I suppose she could. Slips of touch, momentary transfer. I flash her a coy smile, "I see."

"It's sad when a girl doesn't realise what's really going on…" there's a darker edge to what she says, and a bit of pity. I think my guilt puts it there. After all, I'm the one sneaking around behind her back. I do feel bad that the girl doesn't see what's going on around her, what was inevitable. But I can't really help it. And I'm not about to explain it. But maybe I can soften it a little bit.

"Yes Rogue, it really is. But sometimes we don't pay attention to the things that we don't want to see," I try my best not to sound like an adult, but a friend or a sister, still an authority. I hope she understands. "And that really isn't our fault, we just don't want to get hurt."

She smirks. A trait that looks eerily like Logan. "You're very right Dr. Grey."

XxX

Why do I do this? Carefully crawling out of bed with Scott to sneak down the hall to Logan's room. It's horrible, and disrespectful…and fun. Part of me finds this aspect even more thrilling then the affair itself. Oh… I've never really thought about it in terms of being an affair. But it is, it really is. I'm sleeping with two men, and lying to one. Lying to everyone. I'm having an affair with Logan. Certainly not the good doctor they expect me to be.

I knock gently on the door. No need for a lot of noise, he can hear a pin drop.

He unlocks the door – something he started doing after what happened the right he stabbed Rogue.

"Jeanie," Logan flashes me feral grin, and allows me in. There's never a lot of talk. No need for it. We both know why I'm there. And it's not for good conversation.

He brings me in, and it isn't long before he has me naked on his bed, waiting. Begging even.

But he stops.

His head picks up and he slides out of bed without a word to me. He hears something. Someone? He quickly pulls on a pair of discarded track pants to reach the door before a knock even registers on it.

"What's wrong Darlin'?" he opens to door, not the least bit shy about exposing me in his bed. All of his attention is on Rogue who is standing on the other side of the door; not me wrapped in a sheet on his bed.

I'm surprised by her attire. That sort of tiny, silk night-gown really isn't ment for girls as young as her…and certainly not for ones with lethal skin. The spaghetti straps barely hold the material up against her body, exposing arms, legs and a flash of cleavage. But it's now that I can see her in a different light. As different person. She's not the scared girl creeping around the mansion that she is during the day, right then I could see her as a woman who understand her body.

That thought alone scared me.

She wraps her arms around herself, and she chews on her bottom lip, "Ah had another nightmare."

He takes a hooded sweatshirt off the back of the door and pulls it on, as if this alone is the purpose for it. In an instant he's crushing her to his chest, her head tucked under his head. I think I can hear gentle, almost cooing noises, but I couldn't possibly be hearing that from the man who moments before snarled that he was going to fuck me.

I watch, with a morbid fascination, as Rogue's arms find their way comfortably around Logan's waist with his on her hips. The familiarity and comfort strike me. I'm in awe.

"We'll sleep in your bed tonight," he tells her. And it strikes me that this isn't a question, it isn't an offer; it's a usual occurrence.

She nods a little as he kisses the top of her head. And they're prepared to leave; any other thoughts or actions completely forgotten. All they see or think about is each other.

I'd think he's forgotten about me under his sheets until he peaks his head back into the room, "Ah…Jean, you might want to get dressed and go back to Scott."

I've been discarded. Dismissed. He has no other use for me tonight, and I realise that all I was ever doing was serving a purpose for him. Filling in.

XxX

I creep back into my room, into my bed, into my life from before, like a thief in the night. And in so many ways, I am. But I can't help but feel cheated. Tricked. Fooled.

I feel like an idiot.

Scott rolls over as I climb back into bed with him, "Where'd you go?" he asks through a sleep heavy voice.

"…Rogue had a nightmare…but Logan's with her now," I reply. And really, it's not a lie. But it doesn't make me feel any better than the lying had.

"Hmm…Wish those two would sort themselves out," he added with a yawn before rolling over and going back to sleep.

And it seems that the good doctor was the one that didn't want to see what was going on in front of her. It was me that didn't want to get hurt by the truth.

**END. **


End file.
